The life of WASP

Broadcaster Julie Chen recently revealed her “deep secret,” which is that she had extensive plastic surgery to make her appear less Asian. It had been made clear, by her boss in Ohio when she was first starting her broadcast career, and by a big agent (I’m guessing Jay Bernstein), that her Chinese features would keep her in ButtFuque forever.

Of course that’s horrible and racist, but I applaud her for speaking out about it, and giving the rest of us a point of view about a real obstacle associated with her ethnic group.

I’m a WASP.

Just in case: WASP stands for White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. I’m white. I’m Anglo. I was raised Protestant and even though I subscribe to the Kathy Griffin model of Jesus, in many ways Protestantism is a layer of paint you’re stuck with, unless you’re willing to wear bindi or toss on a hijab. Even then, you’ll always be the WASP who converted.

WASPs have their own baggage and I can tell you that it is pure and real:

  • cold hearted
  • emotionally frigid
  • queens of denial
  • dysfunctional families
  • all kinds of fucked up

In “Orange is the New Black,” a fabulous series on Netflix, one inmate says to Piper that she (Piper the WASP) is in denial.

She replies, “I’m a WASP. It’s what we do.

Just sayin. Even white people have their crosses to bear. Absolutely no pun intended.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *